Comments for This article made me feel like a bad mom

pregnancy, breastfeeding, childbirth, homebirth

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This article made me feel like a bad mom

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Jul 15, 2010
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Epidural and Bonding
by: Natural Pregnancy Mentor - Florence

Dear Anonymous,

Actually you are right one...epidural do affect bonding:

"Adverse Psychological Effects of Epidurals

One-third of the women having an epidural felt ill-at-ease owing to delivery under epidural, both physically and psychologically. The first contacts with the infant are earlier and less disagreeable after epidural analgesia than after general anesthesis, but in the days following the delivery the interactions between mother and baby and the comments the mothers make about their child do not differ markedly whichever form of anaesthesia has been used.[i] [LMM: these are middle class mothers.]

Murray, et al.[ii] studied effects of epidural anesthesia on newborns were studied using a sample of babies from mothers having (a) little or no medication during childbirth, (b) epidurals, and (c) epidurals in combination with oxytocin to stimulate labor. The effects of drugs on neonatal behavior were strongest on the first day. By the fifth day, there was evidence of behavioral recovery, but the medicated babies continued to exhibit poor state organization. At 1 month, examiners observed few differences between groups, but unmedicated mothers reported their babies to be more sociable, rewarding, and easy to care for, and these mothers were more responsive to their babies' cries.

[i] Garel M. Lelong N. Kaminski M. Title Follow-up study of psychological consequences of caesarean childbirth. Early Human Development. 16(2-3):271-82, 1988 Mar.

[ii] Murray AD. Dolby RM. Nation RL. Thomas DB. Title Effects of epidural anesthesia on newborns and their mothers. Source Child Development. 52(1):71-82, 1981 Mar. "

And here is more:

"Animal studies suggest that the disruption of maternal hormones caused by epidurals, described above, may also contribute to maternal-infant difficulties. Researchers who administered epidurals to laboring sheep found that the epidural ewes had difficulty bonding to their newborn lambs, especially those in first lambing with an epidural administered early in labor.

D. Krehbiel et al., "Peridural Anesthesia Disturbs Maternal Behavior in Primiparous and Multiparous Parturient Ewes" Physiol Behav 40, no. 4 (1987): 463-472."

Blessings!

Jul 15, 2010
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Epidural/bonding with child
by: Anonymous

So I have a girlfriend from Philly and when she had her baby, she had an epidural, and I think the birth went ok, but she did say it was the weirdest thing because when that child was born she didn't want anything to do with it at first.

So when they brought her boy back to her later...she bonded and is an awesome mom, super happy!

She just thought it was so strange that she would even feel that way at first, but whether or not it was the epidural...maybe just stress...who knows.

We all know stress can do some pretty weird things to our bodies/minds. I have a baby on the way...though not due for quite a few more months, I was glad to read info from the article. I think the point of it is..is just to get as much information available to expecting mothers as possible. I'm glad to have it available to me for sure!!

Congrats :)

Jul 05, 2010
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so sad
by: Anonymous

Congratulations Sarah!

I remember when our first baby was born. What a thrill! So it is a shame that this website makes you feel like a bad mom. I looked at all the information presented here, and my first reaction was "What a gold mine!" I was so excited.

Since none of us were there it is impossible to say why you were in such pain. Yes, there is pain in childbirth for most women. Some is truly unbearable, and pain, though usually normal in labor and birth, can also be an indicator that something is wrong.

A very dear friend of mine did not know that she had a kidney problem with her second baby until she was in labor. Well, needless to say she was in need of some pain relief, and the pain meds she had were better than a C-section she figured, and I have to agree. A worn out mom experiencing serious pain like that should NEVER feel like a bad mom!

And having said that, I hope your next birth does not come with that kind of pain. Each labor and birth are different. I have had several, none were alike. Be kind to yourself. Perhaps it was a labor you will never experience again! And perhaps there were other factors that contributed to it - I hope you will look into different labor techniques as well as books on pregnancy and nutrition if you haven't yet, to see if maybe there are factors involved, and I wish you a gentler birth next time around.

God Bless!

Another Mother

Jun 14, 2010
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Educational Purposes
by: Alisha - NPM

Hi Sarah,

First of all, congrats on your babies!!!

I am sorry that you felt that way... but please know, that this website is for informative purposes... not to try and sway women one way or the other...

You did what you had to... and you shouldn't feel bad about that!! No one was in your situation and shouldn't judge you for it.

I think, that as long as you are educated and doing what you feel is best for your baby and your situation, then that is all that matters!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings... I hope that you have a wonderful week!!

God Bless,
Alisha

Jun 10, 2010
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I am so sorry
by: Natural Pregnancy Mentor - Florence

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for having the courage to share your story.

Let me set the records straight though. We are not against the appropriate use of technology during childbirth. There are times when technology - such as an epidural - is appropriate and not using that technology would actually be wrong.

At the same time, the vast majority of women are unaware of the facts.

Facts, we state on this site.

It is our opinion that technology should be used when the benefits outweight the risks to both mother AND baby.

No one is saying women should be martyrs, on the contrary!

We also want women to understand that the said technology used during childbirth is often unproven and untested:

"We started by reviewing the scientific literature and soon came across the gap between science and practice. To confirm this observation, we recruited a scientist not in the group to survey routine obstetrical procedures. We were shocked when the report from this scientist concluded that only approximately 10% of all routine obstetrical procedures had an adequate scientific basis (Fraser 1983)." ~ Dr. Marsden Wagner

As for you feeling like a bad mom, I am sorry you have those feelings. As you well know, a mom is not made by the birth of her child, a mom is fashioned over time.

I cannot judge your mothering nor do I want to.

No one condemns you...

Have a great day and many blessings to you and your family.

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