Forever regretful

I experienced the most common side effect of the epidural, drop in blood pressure.

When the anesthesiologist mentioned this possible side effect she made it seem like no big deal. They would be able to correct it if it happened shortly. Well it happened. I lost consciousness and they lost my baby's heart rate.

I regained consciousness as they where filling me with fluids and flipping me over. I saw my husband and mother gripping each other in horror. They were eventually able to find my baby's heart rate and stabilize me. But from now on I will always have to wonder if it caused him any damage. Even if he ends up the valedictorian of his class, I will always wonder if he could be even smarter.

I have also suffered some of the other consequences of an epidural such as decreased perineal feeling. I have also had difficulty bonding with my baby though I am not sure if it was because of the epidural or the seperation from my little one. It was the worst mistake of my life. I wish I had understood the true implications of getting the epidural.